How To Love A Man So He Stays With You Forever
Are you curious why your relationships don’t work out? Feel like the men you date are either intimidated by you or don’t seem to understand what you want or need? If you want to break the cycle of frustrating relationships, then you’re ready to discover how to love a man so that he loves and adores you, and never wants to leave.
What a man needs from a relationship is different than what a woman needs. Treating him like a girlfriend or showing off on a date isn’t going to get you what you want. Instead of using your same strategies, take time to discover what a man really needs from a relationship.
Yes, men and women are equal but that doesn’t mean they’re the same. A man’s brain is different from yours and he thinks differently about relationships than you do. Understanding the natural energetics of masculine and feminine and adjusting your dating strategies will allow you to relax knowing that your man feels loved by you. He wants to be your hero. And by giving him the space to be your hero, his self-confidence will grow.
How To Love A Man So He Stays With You Forever
-
Tell Him What Will Make You Happy
Your man wants you to be happy and he wants to be the source of your happiness. Tell him what you want. Don’t keep your desires a secret.
It may seem like it’s more romantic for him to just “know” what you want, but that’s a recipe for disappointment. Attraction and even deep love don’t come with mind-reading powers. Tell him. You’ll get what you want, and he’ll feel good about himself because he can deliver what you want and please you.
There was a best-selling book a few years ago called, “Why Men Love Bitches.” A more accurate title could have been, “Why Men Love Women Who Know What They Want And Ask For It,” but it isn’t as catchy of a title. Love your man by asking for what you want, and he’ll love you back by giving it to you.
How to love a man so he sticks around? Tell him how to please you.
-
Acknowledge And Appreciate Him
When your man gives you what you asked for, acknowledge and appreciate his actions. This is the fuel a man runs on in a relationship. He doesn’t need you to reciprocate but he does need to feel appreciated.
Many divorced men we’ve spoken to have shared with us that they never felt appreciated by their wives. Instead, they felt like nothing they did was ever good enough. A man who doesn’t feel like he can win with you will begin to feel demoralized and eventually give up trying.
How to love a man so that he feels self-confident? Acknowledge and appreciate when he does something for you.
-
Let Him Know That His Efforts Count
Just because you’ve told your man what you want doesn’t mean that he’s always going to get it exactly right. The key is whether he’s making an effort. If he’s trying to make the changes you’re asking for, let him know that his efforts count.
Behavioral change is not always easy. Your habitual behaviors aren’t going anywhere without some conscious effort. Encourage your man instead of criticizing him and he’ll make the effort to step up for you.
If you’re frustrated or disappointed with him, don’t demean him. See if you can have a productive discussion about your expectations and allow him input into how your expectations can be met.
How to love a man so that he keeps working to make you happy? Let him know that his efforts to change are just as important as his actually changing.
-
Give Him Space
Maybe he needs guy time, or he likes to hibernate in his man cave. However your guy recharges, give him the space to do it. Very few relationships function well when the expectation is that the two of you should do everything together.
If you respect his need for space, he’ll be more present with you when you’re together. Men need time to recharge and time spent alone tinkering on a computer or in a workshop allows them to reconnect with themselves and produce testosterone.
The same applies to giving a man space to make up his mind. Let him know what you want and give him some time to think about it. He’ll be more likely to come around if you let him decide for himself than if you keep trying to convince him.
How to love a man so he feels respected? Give him space to recharge and to make up his own mind without pressure.
-
Take Him At His Word
Most men are pretty upfront about who they are and what they want. If a man tells you what’s important to him, believe him. Avoid the urge to read into his actions or to make assumptions about what you think he wants.
Where a man spends his resources (his time, energy, and money) tells you what’s important to him. In general, men don’t send subtle clues. What you see is what you get.
How to love a man so that he knows you understand him? Take him at his word and respond accordingly.
-
Discover What Makes Him Feel Loved
Just because you love gifts and being told, “I love you” doesn’t mean that’s what makes your man feel loved by you. Take time to discover what makes him feel loved.
The old adage of, “loving someone the way you want to be loved” should actually be “love someone the way they want to be loved.”
Most people give love the way they want to receive it. Notice how he’s showing you that he loves you. That’ll give you a clue of what he wants from you. You could also both take the 5 Love Languages Quiz and have fun sharing your results.
How to love a man so that he truly feels loved by you? Discover what makes him feel loved and deliver what he needs.
-
Don’t Treat Him Like Your Girlfriend
When you share a story with your girlfriend you give her all the details and the play-by-play because that’s what she wants to hear. A man won’t know what to do with all that information. He wants to help you, but his eyes will glaze over if you give him every single detail.
When you need to vent or are looking for a receptive ear, your girlfriends are a great resource. Your man isn’t going to interact with you like your female friends. He wants you to get to the point and let him know how he can help. He’s not interested in hearing every plot point along the way.
If you’re coming together after a long day apart, give him time to recharge before sharing your day with him. And let him know that you aren’t looking for his advice, that you’d feel better just knowing that he heard you. Better yet, call a girlfriend while he’s recharging and re-hash your day with her. Then you and your man can connect in a more meaningful way later on.
How to love a man so that he doesn’t go into overwhelm? Share the details of your day with a girlfriend and make a direct request to your man.
-
Get A Status Update On His “Honey Do List”
You want your man to take care of projects that are important to you, but don’t want to be a nag? A great communication tool for reminding him is to ask him for a status update.
“Can I get a status update on the bedroom getting painted?” This is a much more effective way of finding out where he is than asking him, “Why haven’t you painted the bedroom yet?” When you ask for a status update you give him the opportunity to share what he’s gotten done and what he still needs to take care of. It also reminds him of the project without putting him on the spot.
How to love a man without nagging him? Ask him for a status update on his to-do list.
-
Give Him The Time To Express His Thoughts And Feelings
Most men know what they think about a situation, but they don’t always know how they feel about it. And even if they know their thoughts, they may take time to find a way to express them.
Give him time to express himself instead of jumping in and sharing your thoughts and feelings so quickly. He may not be as quick to find the words to express what’s going on. Be careful of the desire to fill in the blanks. If he feels safe expressing himself with you then he’ll gradually open up even more.
How to love a man so he feels like he can open up to you? Give him some time to formulate his thoughts instead of jumping in as soon as there is a pause. You’ll find out a lot more about him if you let him stammer through and find the words to express himself.
-
Be His Lover Not His Mother
Most men like to be nurtured but that doesn’t mean that you want him to rely on you for everything. You’re not his mother reminding him to clean up after himself or making sure he wears a jacket when he goes out.
He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself. You can show him your nurturing side but don’t mother him or treat him like a child. This will kill the romance between you.
Flirt with him. Complement him. Let him know you still find him attractive. And leave the mothering for when he’s sick or feeling down.
How to love a man so that he still has the hots for you? Leave the mothering to his mother and focus on being his lover.
-
Give Him The Benefit Of The Doubt
Too many women give a man the benefit of the doubt from the first date when they feel chemistry and attraction. It’s better to wait until you get to know him. First discover who he is and what he values before you give him the benefit of the doubt.
If he’s earned his way to exclusivity and a commitment, then he deserves the benefit of the doubt. He deserves for you to believe that he has the best intentions for you. Women often wear rose-colored glasses early in the relationship and as the years go by take them off and become more critical of their man.
Wait to put on your rose-colored glasses until after he has proven himself. Then put on those rose-colored glasses and see him in his best light, even on his worst days.
How to love a man so that he trusts you completely? Give him the benefit of the doubt.
-
Don’t Take Him For Granted
A man who loves you is working to show you his love all the time. He wants to solve your problems. He wants to provide what you need so that you are happy. He wants to take care of you and be your hero.
Don’t take his actions for granted. Let him know that you appreciate him and his efforts. Respect the differences between you. Show him respect. He’ll repay you by being the kind of man you can count on as sure as you know the sun will rise tomorrow.
How to love a man so that he gives you what you want and need? Let him know how much you love and appreciate him daily.
Men and women approach romantic relationships differently and have different needs in relationships. Understanding these differences and adjusting your behavior brings you the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire.
If you’ve consistently found yourself in a power struggle with your man or just didn’t know how to keep love alive over time, don’t worry, you can discover a new way to approach love.
Download our free report, The 5 Stages of Relationship, and discover how to navigate the natural changes all relationships go through. Learning the natural course of an intimate relationship will put you on the road to the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire and deserve.
About the authors
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches and founders of Creating Love On Purpose with a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks to lasting love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time. They’ve been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, Newsweek, Best Life, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.