When you haven’t dated in a long time it can feel overwhelming to get back out there. You might worry if dating has changed. Navigating through dating apps can bring up a lot of anxiety. Don’t let your fear of dating get in the way of finding your beloved. Feeling afraid to date again doesn’t have to stop you from turning your love life around.

Dating can feel like a big risk, and when you haven’t done it in a while; it makes sense that you have concerns about putting yourself out there again. Addressing your fears and giving your dating strategies a tune-up will pay off no matter your relationship goals.

Technology has changed the way people meet, however, what happens when you connect in real life hasn’t changed much in a century. Two people share food and/or drinks and get to know each other. If they both agree, a second date follows to continue the dating process.

Before you dive back into dating and sign up for an app, it’s important to discover why you have a fear of dating. Knowing what’s blocking you and letting go of self-judgment will help you no longer feel afraid to date again.

Why Are You Afraid Of Dating Again?

Are you afraid of rejection? Do you struggle with self-confidence? Did your last relationship cause you to swear off dating forever?

Being honest with yourself about why you’re afraid of dating again allows you take inventory, the first step on your journey. Awareness of the problem puts you in the driver’s seat to make changes.

If you don’t know the source of your fear of dating it will feel impossible to overcome. Once you know the cause you can take small, significant steps to release them and move forward to the dating process.

Be wary of the stories you’ve assigned to your past experiences in love and dating. Just because one partner cheated doesn’t mean everyone is untrustworthy. Don’t let your adverse experiences overcome your hope for something better. You wouldn’t swear off eating out at restaurants just because you had one bad meal.

Don’t become resigned to your singlehood because one person didn’t treat you well.

Taking time to heal your heart allows you to become more resilient in love and more capable of dating again. Don’t rush this part. The only way out of feeling stuck is by moving through your uncomfortable emotions.

If you are overwhelmed by fear when you consider dating again you may want to seek professional help. No one is taught how to prevail over heartbreak even with it being a right of passage.

Overcoming Dating Burnout

Going on a lot of dates that don’t lead to a relationship or struggling to meet anyone appropriate to date can cause you to sour on dating altogether. The myth of Love by Accident feeds the false belief that finding love shouldn’t be difficult.

In reality dating burnout occurs because you’re continually riding a hope-to-disappointment rollercoaster. The hope comes in the moment you see their photo in the app, and when it doesn’t pan out you’re left rejected and disappointed.

The best way to avoid dating burnout and release the fear of dating again is to take a completely new approach to dating altogether. One that doesn’t leave you constantly feeling disappointed or heartbroken if it doesn’t become a significant relationship.

When you approach dating with an empowering mindset then no date will ever be a waste and you’ll never suffer from dating burnout again.

Afraid To Date Again? Give Your Dating Strategies A Tune-Up

Most people cobble together their dating strategies from their past experiences without giving much thought to them. If they do anything at all they focus on their outer appearance or their behavior. Knowing the best color to wear, or how to get a second date, won’t stop you from making the same mistakes.

Certainly, when going to meet someone for the first time, it’s appropriate to look your best and put some effort in, however, if you’ve been struggling to create lasting love the issue is unlikely to be how you wear your hair, or whether you’re asking the right questions of your date.

If you’re afraid of dating again, find a compelling reason to overcome this fear to supply the motivation required. Married people live longer, happier lives. Sharing your life with a beloved partner has many benefits.

It’s unfortunate that most people dread the dating process. Dating can be a joyful experience and one that allows you to become a better partner to the person you end up with. Fear closes your heart to possibility, and in order to find an ideal match your heart must be open.

7 Strategies For Overcoming Your Fear Of Dating And Getting Back Out There

It’s easy to find reasons for keeping things the same in your life, especially when you feel afraid to date again. It’s common for singles to share their dating horror stories and make it sound like no decent people are looking anymore.

That is far from the truth and is one of the biggest reasons you’re feeling stuck and not meeting new people.

1. Look For Reasons To Say Yes

Don’t try to filter through profiles looking for your soulmate, because you won’t find your beloved in a profile. You’ll find your special someone by meeting lots of new people and discovering more about yourself along the way.

It’s your fear of dating that has you rejecting possible prospects before you even meet.

Instead of looking for reasons to reject someone (you’ll always find something), look for reasons to say yes to a first meeting. You’re not committing to spending your life with someone simply because you agreed to meet them for coffee or a cocktail.

You’ll have a much more positive outlook on the number of prospects available to you when you look for reasons to say “Yes,” instead of rejecting someone because they’re not great at writing an online profile or perhaps didn’t take the best photo ever.

You’ll also begin to move through the world with more open and positive energy, which is in and of itself attractive.

2. Approach Your Dates With Curiosity

Another way to take the pressure off a first meeting is to reset your expectations. Instead of fantasizing and hoping that this person will be “The One,” approach your first dates with curiosity simply to get to know someone new.

This helps you take the focus off of yourself and allows you to be less self-conscious. Ask questions. Be curious about who this stranger is. Being interested in the other person is also naturally attractive.

Most people like to talk about themselves and feel drawn to people who want to know more about them.

Your self-consciousness increases your feeling of being afraid of dating again. Shifting your focus away from yourself also takes the pressure off of your concern about making a good impression and eases your fears.

3. Don’t Put Your Lovability In The Hands Of A Stranger

One of the reasons you’re afraid of dating again is that you’re afraid of rejection. Putting your hopes and dreams in this other person gives them the power to determine your lovability.

On a first meet, you’re dealing with a stranger. They don’t know who you are or what makes you tick.

Why would you give a stranger the power to reject or accept you?

They haven’t even had a chance to get to know you! It takes time to get to know someone, and if they reject you without discovering who you are, it’s their loss.

Stop looking for acceptance or love in the eyes of a stranger, that’s only setting you up for disappointment. There are people in your life who know you, and these people love you and accept you as is! It’s time for you to bestow yourself with this same grace.

4. Discover What You Can Learn About Yourself

Use dating as a tool to discover more about your patterns, your limiting beliefs, and your strategies for love. Most people use the same strategies for dating that they learned as a teenager regardless of how many decades have gone by.

Stop dating like a teenager and approach love like the mature adult that you are now.

This means that you can use dating as a tool to learn more about yourself and discover if there are new strategies you want to develop. If you’re afraid to date again, understanding your inner dialog helps you overcome your fear.

Notice your behavior when you’re on a date with someone you’re attracted to versus someone you don’t find attractive. Are you more comfortable speaking up when there’s no attraction? What strategies show up when you’re attracted to your date? Can you be the same person no matter who’s sitting across from you?

Pay attention to how you feel immediately after you part from your date.

Do you criticize yourself, thinking about all the things you should have done differently?

Do you easily find fault with your date and see that as evidence that there are no good matches out there?

Do you excuse bad behavior and ignore red flags when you feel the intoxication of chemistry?

You won’t have a fear of dating if you’re using it as a learning tools about yourself. Discovering the strategies that have caused heartbreak in the past gives you the confidence that you won’t continue to make the same mistakes moving forward.

5. Share Your Dreams And Goals, Not Your Horror Stories

Many people habitually bond over negativity. The saying, “Misery loves company,” is certainly true in the dating world. Resist the temptation to complain about all the nuts you’ve met online, and don’t share your horror stories no matter how entertaining they may be.

Bonding over negativity may feel good in the moment, but it’s probably not how you want your relationship to function. It also reinforces feeling afraid to date again.

Instead, share your dreams and goals with your date. Share what you want from life. Ask your date what inspires them and their worldview.

Having similar goals is what bonds groups of people together all over the world. This occurs in business, sporting events, and even families. By sharing your dreams and goals and asking about what inspires your date, you begin a relationship on a positive note and leave the opportunity to connect over the life you would each like to create.

Energy is contagious whether it is positive or negative. On a date focus on the positive, and see if you can inspire your date to do the same. Focus on the positive and you won’t be afraid of dating again.

6. Practice Being Authentic To Create Connection

Everyone wants to be loved for who they really are, and yet on some level, they’re terrified to show up as who they really are. It’s a common strategy to twist yourself into a pretzel trying to liked or trying to be the person you think you’re date will be attracted to.

What if you showed up authentically and let the chips fall where they may?

Use dating as an opportunity to practice authenticity and show up as the real authentic you. This doesn’t give you the green light to share all of your troubles and struggles with a stranger; it simply means that if you disagree with your date, speak up!

Being authentic means speaking how you feel with your date. Authenticity is a high vibration and is an invitation for the other person to meet you there. If your date chooses to meet you there, then you can create a real connection with this new person you’ve just met.

If your date is unable to accept your invitation, then that’s priceless information about this person you’re just now getting to know. Perhaps they’re incapable of joining you in being authentic at that moment but will circle back to connect with you and clean things up.

When you’re authentic, you create an opportunity to connect with your date. Instead of avoiding conflict, being authentic allows you to discover if you can overcome your differences. And you don’t waste your time with people who don’t get you.

7. Ask For What You Want

The right person for you doesn’t come with mind-reading powers. They don’t instinctively know what you like, nor do they automatically do what you desire without you asking. Making assumptions about behavior can lead you astray and put an unrealistic expectation on this person who could be an ideal mate for you.

Don’t be afraid to make requests of your dates. You’ll be more likely to get what you want, and you’ll also discover over time if you have shared values.

Dating is confusing in our modern world. Traditional roles no longer apply, and navigating your differences is key to creating connection. The right person for you will be curious about how to make you happy.

Instead of focusing on being afraid to date again, use these strategies to gain confidence in yourself. They’ll also help you cultivate discernment through the dating process so you can identify an ideal match for you.

Self-confidence is developed by taking a risk to create a new experience. Once you have new positive experiences, you’ll gain more and more confidence in yourself and you’ll be more and more open to going on dates and meeting new people.

Dating doesn’t have to be hard, nor does it need to seem like a chore. Approaching dating with an open and curious mindset gives you the right approach to finding your person.

Overcome your fear of dating, heal your heart, and find your beloved life partner, with our debut book: GETTING IT RIGHT THIS TIME: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love. You’ll go on a journey to identify your blocks to love, transform them to develop confidence, and manifest the long-lasting love relationship you desire.