Are You Tired Of Being Alone? Here’s How To Turn Your Focus So You Don’t Become Bitter
Sadly, it’s all too easy to meet people who’ve become bitter about finding love. Feeling tired of being alone, they’ve let their frustration and loneliness fester and wear down their ability to keep hope alive. Their bitterness has them caught in a negative cycle that just makes it harder and harder to create connection with people.
The saying, “Misery loves company,” seems to have been written specifically about dating by people who are tired of being alone. Even if they’re bitter, at least they’ll have a group to share their misery with.
Let’s make sure this is not you — there is a way to keep your spirits high and not lose hope!
What’s Wrong With Feeling Tired Of Being Alone?
Loneliness is a universal feeling and a part of the human experience. It’s a normal emotion that everyone feels once and a while. It can become a problem if you believe that feeling of loneliness won’t go away.
When you’re tired of being alone and frustrated at your inability to connect with others, you can fall into the trap that you’ll always feel this way. You notice that even when you’re with other people (friends, family, co-workers) you feel disconnected and alone in their company. This can lead to feelings of despair that no one will ever “get you” or a false belief you’ll never experience falling in love again.
If you’re stuck in this negative mindset because you’re tired of being alone, even when you’re having fun and being adventurous a part of you secretly wishes that you were sharing these experiences with your special someone.
It’s natural to worry that you’ll never meet someone who’ll love and stick by you through life’s ups and downs.
This becomes a serious problem if you isolate and withdraw from socializing, and refuse to date or meet new people.
So how do you avoid becoming bitter on your journey to love, even though you feel so tired of being alone?
Start By Understanding The Transitory Nature Of Emotions
All emotions, good, bad, or ugly, are part of the human experience and are simply information. The desire to avoid feeling particular emotions can cause you to get stuck in that feeling rather than its natural ebb and flow.
All of your emotions are temporary sensations. They can change suddenly or slowly, depending on the circumstances triggering them and how you interact with them.
Feeling tired of being alone is simply one part of the human condition. You’re here on planet Earth to feel the full range of human emotions and at different moments in your life, you’ll experience all of them. No single emotion will be a constant throughout your life.
Just because you feel angry when someone cuts you off on the freeway, or you feel joy when you see a beautiful sunrise, doesn’t mean those feelings will last forever. It’s understood that they’re temporary.
However, feelings of loneliness, disconnection, bitterness, and frustration about your life can seem all-encompassing. Your mind may lie to you and your inner dialog may engage in your emotional stories triggering you to feel like things will never change. The truth is all your emotions will ebb and flow like waves onto the shoreline.
Some waves are bigger and some are smaller, other waves lap gently onto the shore and more come crashing down, but all waves recede to be replaced by another wave. This is the nature of your emotional life.
Identifying and expressing your feelings allows them to recede and be replaced by another feeling — regardless of whether they’re big or small, enjoyable, or not,
Being present with your emotional experiences rather than resisting or analyzing them allows you to feel connected to yourself. This connection to self is an essential component of feeling whole and complete and puts you in the seat of your power to create your life.
How Do You Change Your Relationship To Your Emotions?
The best way to change your experience of feeling tired of being alone? Re-frame your feelings of loneliness into motivation. Changing the way you think about feelings of loneliness that arise from time to time allows you to reclaim your personal power from these feelings.
For example, what if being on your own when you desire to share your life with someone is simply information that you want to create a change?
Instead of feeling tired of being alone, you felt motivated to create love. When you have the DESIRE for change – that is the catalyst to create something new. If you didn’t have the desire for it – there’s no possible way for you to manifest it in your life.
It’s your ache for love and connection that informs you how important it is for you. Every time you feel tired of being alone it can become a reminder of what you desire and motivate you to take action. Utilize this desire to spur you into action rather than lament the absence of it.
When you reframe feeling tired of being alone as the DESIRE for love you can utilize that feeling as fuel to create and manifest the soul-satisfying, long-lasting love you want.
Now this doesn’t mean that there is some miraculous, mysterious force in the universe that grants all your wishes. Just because you want something won’t make it happen for you; there’s more to it than that.
The Love You Desire Is Already Inside Of You
You can’t give something you don’t possess. If you don’t love and accept yourself, you’ll find it very difficult to be with someone who loves you. You’ll reject it. It’ll feel off and you’ll tell yourself it’s because you don’t find that particular person attractive.
When you meet someone who’s interested in you, you’ll reject them. They won’t be a match for how love feels inside of you, so you’ll question their intentions or judge them as not right for you. The energetic mismatch will keep you stuck searching for love outside of you and struggling to find it.
Your internal experience of what love feels like, how it functions, and why you’ve struggled with it are all part of your story of love. Feeling tired of being alone is just part of this story, and this story has an emotional vibration. You’re attracted to people who reflect this same vibration back to you.
To put it simply like attracts like. You’re attracted to what feels familiar to you. This is a survival mechanism in the brain. Your subconscious mind is wired to bring you more of the same familiar circumstances.
For example, if you have a fear that no man will accept the real authentic you – that you are simply too much. You’ll find that you’re rejected by the men you desire again and again and again.
There isn’t a magical person who will change this fear of being too much. You first have to shift the belief inside of you to then manifest the guy who loves you as you are.
Change your relationship with yourself and you’ll change your experience in the outer world. Love and value yourself and you’ll reject people who don’t love and value you. When you focus on your relationship with yourself, healing that part of you that’s tired of being alone, you’ll begin to see different results in your search for love.
You’ll be attracted to people who are a vibrational match to your new inner experience when you love yourself and treat yourself as worthy of love.
Believe In Your Goal And Take Action
Manage your mindset on the journey to your beloved like you know you’ve already reached the destination. Believing that your match is out there also looking for you is a way to set your journey to love on a new trajectory – one that leads you quickly to the person you’re searching for.
What if you already knew that your soulmate was waiting for you? That it’s just a matter of time before the two of you met? What would be different about your behavior on a date? How would you respond when things didn’t go exactly as you had hoped?
Would you still feel tired of being alone?
If you knew without a doubt that your soulmate was waiting for you then you wouldn’t be so worried about what others thought of you. You wouldn’t spend so much time worrying about why it didn’t work out with the guy who disappeared.
If you believed your beloved was right around the corner, you could date with openness and authenticity and just relax by being you. No more second guessing trying to please a stranger by making assumptions about what they may or may not like about you.
Having a full life is also essential. It’s backward thinking if you’re wishing and hoping that someone will show up to change your life. No one is coming to save you. Change your life first – and the right match for you will become visible to you.
Break Your Old Patterns
You can’t create something new using your old patterns that haven’t worked. Create new results by trying new strategies and shaking things up.
Feeling tired of being alone is a signal that you desire to change. Your feeling state is a tangible result of your wish to spend your life with someone. Unfortunately, wishing is not enough to move you toward your goal.
Taking NEW ACTIONS is how you begin to break old patterns and create new ones.
Selecting which new actions to take is somewhat important, but not as important as doing things that you’ve never done before.
Don’t put off living your life until you’re in a relationship. Make those plans and take those trips now. Fill your life with activities that bring you joy.
You can change your feeling state by changing your physical location, your inner dialog, exercising, listening to music, or laughing. Taking new actions will shift your emotional state and allow you to feel more resourceful.
When you’re feeling more resourceful you can make better decisions and take more effective actions. This is the key to reclaiming your power over your emotional state and turning feeling tired of being alone into new actions that bring more connection into your life.
To simplify and speed up the process you may need a guide – someone who has been where you are, and now in the present has what you desire. This is the fast track to manifesting what you want.
Let’s set you up for success! Join us for a Soulmate Strategy Call and we’ll come up with a specific plan for you to create the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire and deserve.
About the authors
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches and founders of Creating Love On Purpose with a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks to lasting love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time. They’ve been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, Newsweek, Best Life, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.