The dating process can be filled with pitfalls and frustrations. Juggling your schedule to accommodate someone you’ve just met, or to date a few people at once, can add an extra layer of annoyance when someone cancels last minute. How do you respond when he keeps canceling dates?

When he cancels last minute, you may experience a range of emotions, from disappointment and frustration to self-doubt and confusion. It’s easy to make things up and to feel disrespected which can affect your self-esteem. Having someone cancel last minute can quickly turn into cynicism, and you can begin to doubt your chances of finding a connection.

Dating apps have made it easier than ever to connect with other singles and are the most popular tool for finding long-lasting love. An unfortunate downside to dating apps is that it’s easy for people to flake on you. In reality, dating apps are neither good nor bad. They’re just an inanimate object, a tool for meeting in real life.

Just as people are varied in real life, there’s the same variety of people on the apps. Meeting flaky people through an app doesn’t mean the app is bad or doesn’t work. The key is to manage your mindset. The easiest way to stay positive during the search to find your forever love is to be clear on your goal.

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s important to remember not everyone will have the same end result in mind. There are plenty of sincere people looking for a relationship who will respect you and your time. Stay focused on the goal of finding your person who will treat you respectfully. When he keeps canceling your dates don’t let it get you down, simply move on to the next person.

Why Does He Keep Canceling Dates?

You may find your mind spinning, trying to understand what’s going on with him. If you’re emotionally invested, you may make excuses for his behavior. The most important thing to remember when he cancels last minute is that it’s not about you. Emergencies can happen, unexpected work challenges can pop up, and cars can break down. It’s okay to extend grace the first time it happens, but if he keeps canceling dates, move on quickly and don’t look back.

You have zero control over someone else’s behavior. If you’re taking it personally that he cancels dates you’re making it about you, when it’s clearly not. No one behaves a certain way because of who you are. How someone behaves is a reflection of who they are.

If he keeps canceling dates, it reveals his lack of capacity for being in a real relationship. People who cancel last minute aren’t dating seriously, they want something convenient. They want an easy plus-one to attend events, not someone to stick with through thick and thin.

If you find that multiple people are canceling dates last minute, it’s time to evaluate your part of the pattern. Are you going along to get along through the dating process? That can be your contribution to creating your current circumstance.

If all you do is go along to get along, you’ll never find your forever person. It’s not your job to make things easy for your date. You can avoid the guys who just want a convenient companion by expressing your expectations and making requests. This leaves an opportunity for someone ready to make you a priority to show up for you. They’ll want to know what you like and what makes you happy. They’ll put in the effort to win your heart.

What To Do When He Cancels Last Minute?

1. Don’t Take It Personally

Hope is the first thing to enter a relationship and the last thing to leave. When you meet a promising prospect, you feel hope. Maybe he had a great profile, or you thought you had a connection on the phone. It’s natural to start hoping that he could be the one you’re looking for.

Investing emotionally in a stranger is the recipe for dating burnout. When you feel hopeful and he cancels last minute, you may take it personally. This can lead to disappointment and stir up frustrations from the past. It can be easy to spiral down and eventually think you’re likely to be single forever.

This hope-to-disappointment rollercoaster is exhausting and leaves you feeling cynical about love and dating. Get off the ride and stop investing your heart with a stranger. Don’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt until they’ve earned it. This way if he keeps canceling dates, you can quickly move on to the next person.

2. Speak How You Feel And Make A Request

It’s crucial, especially early in the dating process, to ask for what you want. With the right language, you can say anything to anyone. The key is how you make the request. There should be standards for how you want to be treated, particularly when you first meet a potential match. It’s important to remember that they’re your set of standards, and if someone doesn’t abide by them, it doesn’t make them wrong or bad; it only makes them not the right match for you.

The best way to discover if someone is capable of meeting your needs is to speak how you feel and make a request. Using “I” language ensures that you’re speaking about yourself and not placing blame or responsibility on the other person. You can either express disappointment in their actions or inspire them to step up next time.

The right match for you won’t come with mindreading powers, they won’t know what you want or need. When you make it clear how you desire to be treated, someone who cares about pursuing a relationship with you will step up accordingly. The dating process is a selection process, it’s just as important to know who to continue being curious about as it is to know who to deselect.

How you ask is the key to making requests. Always couch your inquiry in a manner that is about you and not about the other person. If the person doesn’t respond well, that tells you a lot about who they are and what they’re capable of. Remember the dating process is a discovery process – finding out if the two of you are compatible is essential for a lasting relationship.

3. Have Compassion And Set Clear Boundaries

It’s common to make quick judgments that canceling last minute means they’re flaky or untrustworthy. Having compassion for what they’re experiencing will help you keep your heart open. If it’s the first occurrence, ask yourself if you would handle the situation differently if it was a good friend. This can give you a different perspective and the ability to see things from their perspective along with being curious.

Giving someone a second chance is always a good idea, however, it’s imperative that you set clear boundaries if he keeps canceling dates. You must know what you’re not willing to tolerate. Putting up with bad behavior, for any reason, can mean you’re missing red flags, leaving you open to becoming attached to someone who is not a good match for you.

Relationship boundaries are an important skill for love to flourish. Without them, you can end up in a toxic or co-dependent relationship. Having clear boundaries allows you to take care of yourself while keeping your heart open to find an ideal match for the long term.

Establishing and enforcing boundaries is necessary for creating a respectful, loving relationship. Let them know that if they keep canceling last minute, you’ll move on and find someone who values your time.

4. Bring Awareness To Your Reaction

The fact that he canceled last minute is just information. The meaning that you assign to this situation belongs to you and has nothing to do with him. By examining your reaction when he cancels last minute, you can create separation between the event and your inner dialog. If you make his behavior about you, that means you’re taking his behavior personally. If this is a pattern, you can be grateful that you now know what to work on so you can cultivate discernment through the dating process to find a great match to share your life with.

Your desire to be respected in a relationship is appropriate, however, when it carries with it the energy of negative emotions you may find that you’re triggered by something that has nothing to do with the current situation. It might be a historical reaction based on past events, rather than simply noting that this particular person is not a good match for you. Examining your part of the circumstances you can find an opportunity to heal and grow making you a better partner for the right person.

Dating is a wonderful opportunity to learn about yourself and discover hidden blocks to long-lasting love. Every situation is an opportunity to discover limiting beliefs, fears, and frustrations that can affect your ability to create your ideal relationship.

5. Date More Than One Person At A Time

Don’t get stuck thinking you only have one option. Becoming attached early in the dating process can cause you to waste a lot of time on someone who’s not relationship material. Most people commit quickly and go exclusive only to find out 3–6 months in that the person is not a good match. A string of short-term relationships can create dating burnout and even worse, can chip away at your self-esteem.

The remedy is to date more than one person at a time. That way if someone cancels last minute you have other prospects in your pipeline to move on quickly.

There are two traps that most daters get stuck in. The first is to be too accommodating, setting aside time for someone who doesn’t respect yours. When he keeps canceling dates, you end up being stuck at home without other options.

The second trap is to treat a good prospect like they’re a unicorn. If you believe that good matches are abundant and easy to find, then you won’t overly invest in one person while they’re still a stranger.

Spending time and emotional energy on someone who cancels dates drains your spirit. Using this situation to practice communication skills, set boundaries, and refrain from getting attached to a stranger speeds up the process of finding an ideal match for the long term.

If you’re tired of spinning your wheels, being canceled on last minute, or having zero prospects for a date, it’s time to take an intentional approach to love and dating. Claim a complimentary Breakthrough Call with us. We’ve helped thousands of clients identify and transform their hidden blocks to love so they can bring in a beloved life partner. Isn’t time you made finding your forever love a priority?