Not All Momma’s Boys Are Doomed At Love 8 Signs Of An Emasculated Man + Why He’s A Great Catch
If you’re tired of dating the typical Alpha Male and having to deal with the culture of toxic masculinity, expanding your potential dating pool can reveal potential partners that you wouldn’t normally consider. There’s a certain kind of man who’s been labeled a momma’s boy, who may actually be a great mate.
It’s common to hear the phrase “momma’s boy” being used as an insult, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. But not all momma’s boys are doomed at love, some of them make great partners.
Recognizing the signs of an emasculated man and understanding what causes him to be labeled a momma’s boy can reveal why he’s a great catch.
What Is A Momma’s Boy?
When you hear the term “momma’s boy,” you may picture a man who’s overly attached to his mother and unable to form meaningful romantic relationships. The stereotype suggests that such men are weak, emasculated, and incapable of being good partners. However, this is far from the truth.
This derogatory label is often used to describe men who rely on their mothers for emotional and practical support. They may struggle to establish their independence, make decisions, and assert themselves in social situations. In some cases, they may even prioritize their mother’s needs and wishes over their own.
This stereotype is often reinforced in popular culture, where momma’s boys are portrayed as weak and unmanly. They’re often the butt of jokes, and their inability to establish romantic relationships is seen as a failure on their part. This stigma can be harmful and may prevent people from recognizing the strengths and positive qualities of an emasculated man.
We’re giving it to you straight: Not all men who have close relationships with their mothers are “momma’s boys” — in the negative sense of the term. In fact, a man with a strong bond with his mother can be a positive attribute that can bring you many benefits.
Why He’s a Momma’s Boy
There are many reasons why a man may become a momma’s boy and appear as an emasculated man. Perhaps he grew up in a household where his mother was the dominant figure in the household (or the only parent). As a boy, the close relationship with his mother drove him to seek out her approval, attention, and validation.
Another reason that can compel a man to become a momma’s boy is to have been bullied as a child, either by a domineering father or by older siblings. His feelings of fear and shame in regard to his perceived weakness may cause him to seek the approval of a strong woman to feel better about himself.
A man may become a momma’s boy simply because he values the relationship he has with his mother. There’s nothing inherently wrong with having a close relationship with one’s mother, but it can become a problem if it interferes with his romantic relationships. The concept of an emasculated man as “whipped” doesn’t necessarily hold up to the negative stereotype.
The Highly Sensitive Man
Men who are highly sensitive or empathic are often mistaken for being a momma’s boy. These men are intuitive, emotional, and perceptive. Sensitive, empathic men can have a difficult time navigating society’s expectations of masculinity.
An empath is attuned to the energy of others. It’s unfortunate the emasculated man is put down for having a strong connection to his emotional life. In a romantic relationship sharing feelings is the path to creating connection. Although empaths can have difficulty distinguishing their own feelings from someone else’s, this can also be true of all couples who spend a lot of time together.
The highly sensitive man can become overwhelmed by their partner’s emotions and feel the need to withdraw or check out emotionally. If given the space to recharge and recalibrate their energy, they’ll once again be available to reconnect emotionally.
Are Momma’s Boys And Empaths Emasculated Men?
An emasculated man has lost his sense of masculinity or is constantly belittled or controlled by a dominant partner. This can lead to a variety of behaviors that are often associated with the momma’s boy stereotype.
He may feel that his masculinity has been diminished or undermined in some way. Either because of a lack of role models, societal pressure to conform to gender norms, or experiences of trauma or abuse can all contribute to him feeling emasculated.
The emasculated man may feel both embarrassed and ashamed of himself as a man. As a result, he may try desperately to either prove his masculinity to others or to hide the fact that he perceives himself as lacking. For whatever reason, his limiting belief (or fear) is that he’s devoid of what it takes to be a ‘real’ man.
However, because of these experiences, he can develop a strong sense of empathy and compassion for others. It gives him permission to be more authentic to himself and he may develop his feminine side. By developing his softer side he may give himself permission to express his creativity.
8 Signs of an Emasculated Man + Why He’s A Great Catch
Signs of an emasculated man can manifest differently in different men. Society tends to judge an emasculated man as less than macho men. His fear and shame of how he’s perceived, and his insecurity can cause him to overcompensate to prove his masculinity. This behavior is the source of many dark and toxic aspects of masculinity.
However, it’s important to remember that these signs do not necessarily indicate that a man is weak or incapable of forming healthy relationships. In fact, many men who struggle with emasculation are sensitive, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent, which can make them wonderful life partners.
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He Lacks Confidence
He may struggle to make decisions without seeking approval from his partner or he may be overly self-deprecating. A momma’s boy may also be more passive in his romantic relationship, casting you in the power position and letting you take the lead when making plans and decisions.
He may be a great catch because he isn’t trying to dominate the relationship. He’s open to your feedback and respects your opinion. If you share with him how his actions bring you happiness and make you feel loved, his confidence can grow in the relationship.
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He Lacks Assertiveness
It may be difficult for him to stand up for himself or express his needs and desires. Instead, he may avoid conflict and try to keep the peace at all costs. This may lead to him harboring resentments that reveal themselves over time.
He may be a great catch because he’s open to creating a win-win with you. His easy-going nature makes him easy to get along with. He’s used to strong women so he isn’t threatened by your assertiveness. Encouraging him to share his feelings and showing him that conflict can be a doorway to creating a deeper connection will ensure his frustrations don’t build up and cause a rift between you.
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He Struggles With Intimacy And Emotional Vulnerability
Intimacy and emotional vulnerability may be challenging for him. He may have a hard time expressing his emotions and opening up to you, which can lead to a lack of connection in the relationship. may come across as aloof or uncaring.
He may be a great catch if you can coax him to feel safe enough to show his sensitive side. Once he realizes he can be vulnerable with you he will bond through emotional intimacy. Create a safe space for him by not judging his feelings or trying to fix them. Acknowledge his feelings and you may find that he will melt your heart.
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He Defers To The Women In His Life
An emasculated man will seek the advice of the important women in his life and defer to their judgment. He may not move quickly in the dating process, instead he’ll be looking for clues from you about how or if to proceed.
He may be a great catch because he’s more likely to be nurturing and caring. Having grown up with a strong maternal figure it’s likely he’s been taught the importance of emotional support and care. This can lead to him being a more compassionate and understanding partner.
He understands the value of a woman’s perspective and is less likely to engage in toxic or abusive behaviors in a relationship. Show him appreciation for the trust he places in you and your judgment, and he’ll be a loyal partner to you.
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He Second Guesses Himself
When he does make a decision he can question his choices. Masculine energy is decisive and focused. Since he’s out of touch with his masculine side, he may not trust himself so he may overthink everything.
A momma’s boy has likely developed strong values and a sense of integrity. He may be more likely to live up to his word and follow through on his commitments, which can make him a reliable and trustworthy partner.
Put your trust in him, and over time he will learn to trust his decision-making process.
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He Follows Instead Of Leads
An emasculated man isn’t going to feel comfortable being a leader. His habit of deferring to others and his lack of trust in his decisions can cause him to be more of a follower than a guy at the front of the line.
If you’re the type of woman who likes to be in charge and doesn’t mind leading the relationship forward, an emasculated man may be an ideal match for you. He will prefer that you make the plans, and he will go along and follow your lead.
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He Lacks Self-Esteem
An emasculated man can lack self-esteem which can cause him to appear weak and insecure. His need for validation can make him slow to make decisions as he seeks confirmation of his choices from others.
He may be a great catch because he’s open to challenging traditional gender roles. A momma’s boy may be more willing to question traditional gender roles and expectations because he’s likely experienced a loss of power and control over his own life. He may be more open to sharing household and parenting responsibilities, for example, and less likely to expect his partner to conform to gender norms.
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He’s Overly Sensitive Or Defensive
Sensitivity or defensiveness are signs of an emasculated man that make it difficult to hold him accountable for his behavior. He may have thin skin and take your feedback as criticism.
He may be a great catch if he’s committed to personal growth and self-improvement. An emasculated man often struggles with feelings of inadequacy and may be more motivated to work on himself and grow as a person. He can be less likely to become complacent in a relationship and more likely to put effort into personal and relationship growth.
Of course, it’s important to remember that not all momma’s boys who have close relationships with their mothers are automatically great catches. Evaluate his behavior and determine his capacity to fit the vision of your ideal relationship before committing your heart.
Most importantly, don’t pull a bait and switch! If you pursue a relationship with an emasculated man and a few months in expect that he will suddenly step up and pursue you, that’s an unrealistic expectation. You have to think of him like a minivan, he’s not going to ever accelerate and turn corners like a Maserati.
Overall, it’s important to remember that a momma’s boy is not defined solely by his struggles with masculinity. He’s a complex and multifaceted individual with many positive qualities to offer in a long-term relationship. By recognizing and valuing these qualities, you can see past harmful stereotypes and create a more positive and fulfilling relationship with a sensitive, empathic man.
If you find that you’re unsure of your overall type of man and have trouble picturing the kind of dynamic that would be most fulfilling for you book a Soulmate Strategy Session with us. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to lasting love, so if you’re tired of spinning your wheels and want some serious forward movement toward sharing your life with the love of your life, we’ll help you create a custom plan just for you!
About the authors
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches and founders of Creating Love On Purpose with a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks to lasting love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time. They’ve been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, Newsweek, Best Life, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.