When you’re single, you can feel a lot of pressure from family, friends, and society to partner up. But just because everyone wants you to get married doesn’t mean that you have to choose that path. There’s nothing wrong with being perpetually single. If you’ve chosen singlehood consciously, this lifestyle can bring you tons of freedom and very few emotional entanglements.

The key to choosing singlehood and being happy is to choose that lifestyle because it’s for your highest good and not because of limiting beliefs about relationships, or because you don’t want to be hurt again.

The desire to partner up and procreate is an integral part of being human. It’s built into species’ survival. Humans are social animals who thrive in healthy communities. This doesn’t mean that you’re required to mate for life with one person. You can be perpetually single and happy with your life if you do it for the right reasons.

There are many perks to being perpetually single. You have the freedom to live life on your terms. You can travel, change your profession, move to a new city, or even live like a nomad. When you don’t have a spouse or children to consider then you can live however you want.

It also comes with risks of loneliness or disconnection from others. Emotional connection is important to your mental health. Studies show that married people are happier than single people and live longer.

So, how do you know if you’re choosing to be perpetually single as a lifestyle choice or if you’re choosing singlehood for the wrong reasons?

7 Lessons From People Who Chose To Be Perpetually Single

1. People Who Choose Singlehood Aren’t Afraid Of Being Hurt

Those who are perpetually single by choice aren’t afraid of being hurt. They simply have other ambitions in life. Partnering up or even having sex is a distraction for them. They may be asexual and not driven by hormones. Personal relationships aren’t a priority for them because they may have a calling for something much bigger in life. They cherish their alone time and are thrilled they can do as they choose without having to answer to or accommodate anyone else.

2. They Never Worry About Ending Up Alone

Choosing to be perpetually single means you don’t have a secret desire to fall madly in love with someone… someday. These people aren’t licking their wounds or wishing and hoping someone would show up out of the blue to change their life (like in a movie). They’re content with their lives exactly as they are. They simply don’t care if they find the love of their life because it’s not even on their radar, much less a priority. They’re not worried about ending up alone because they’re choosing singlehood purposefully.

3. They’ve Taken Responsibility For Their Choice

People who consciously choose singlehood aren’t blaming someone else for putting them in this predicament. They know their reasons and they own them. They’re not looking to blame anyone or have an ax to grind. They’ve simply decided that being on their own is exactly how they want their life to be. They aren’t settling with being alone — they relish it!

4. They’re Not Setting Expectations Based On Past Experiences

People choose to be perpetually single because it’s a lifestyle they desire, not because of disappointment or the pain of heartache. They’re not letting their past dictate how they choose to live in the present, or what may be possible for them in the future. They aren’t hurt or angry that their love life didn’t turn out differently.

5. They’ve Focused On Self-Love

People who’ve chosen singlehood aren’t looking for someone to complete them or heal their wounds. They appreciate themselves and don’t expect perfection. They’re comfortable with who they are and are happy with the lives they’ve created.

6. They’ve Created Meaning In Their Singlehood

They’re not perpetually single because they’re stuck in a rut or afraid to risk their hearts. They’ve chosen singlehood because their purpose either requires or encourages them to be alone. It could be volunteer work or a vocation that requires travel and makes it difficult to settle down. Their life choices encourage singlehood, and they’re rewarded through their contribution to society.

7. They Have A Spiritual Calling

All the sages say, “Know thyself,” and people who choose singlehood may delve deep into a spiritual practice. Not all will take a vow of celibacy, but many remain celibate for years, even decades. For these people, the desire to create a connection to God, Source, Universe, or any higher power replaces the need for romantic relationships. They are fulfilled by a different calling than most people and their relationship with themselves takes priority over any romantic entanglements.

The choice to be perpetually single can be an empowering decision, however, many people are settling with singlehood instead of taking action to have a thriving love life with an ideal mate.

5 Signs You Haven’t Chosen To Be Perpetually Single And You’re Justifying Your Singlehood (aka Settling)

1. You’re Protecting Your Heart

If you choose to be perpetually single to avoid having to risk your heart, you’re essentially trying to protect yourself from future pain. Building a fortress around your heart won’t protect you forever, someone in your life could still hurt you. Instead of avoiding connecting with someone special, invest time in healing your heart. It’s the only way to put the past behind you so you can allow love in again.

2. You’re Not Good With Boundaries

If you’re afraid of losing yourself or going into sacrifice in a relationship there are options besides settling with being perpetually single. Use time alone to get in touch with things that bring you joy and get clear on your goals in life. Most importantly develop healthy boundaries. When you’re ready to get back into the dating game, you can focus on finding someone who shares your dreams and goals.

3. You Don’t Value Yourself

If you’re fixated on giving your love to someone who doesn’t offer love back or is emotionally unavailable, you lack self-esteem. Knowing that you’re worth loving is an inner transformation that’ll change your outer experience. When you value yourself, you’ll find a partner who respects and cherishes you. Healing your core wounds allows you to grow your self-love and respect from the inside out and let love in even though it’s messy.

4. You Have Unrealistic Expectations

You might be single because you’ve set the bar too high. If you’re expecting that you’ll never have conflict or miscommunication with your beloved, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Your soulmate won’t come with mind-reading powers. They won’t intuitively know what you want and need. That is a romantic fantasy. No person is perfect, but there is someone perfect for you. Setting aside your unrealistic expectations doesn’t mean you’re settling for less. It means you have a mature understanding of what to expect in a relationship.

5. You Have Limiting Beliefs About Love

If you’ve resigned yourself to being perpetually single because you think love won’t last, or you’re unlovable, or that love has to come from one specific person — you’re experiencing limiting beliefs. These false beliefs keep you stuck in a pattern of heartache. This is one of life’s most valuable lessons because when someone you love hurts you it’s an opportunity for growth. Don’t shoot the messenger, we can assure you at some point you’ll thank us for telling it to you straight. Fooling yourself by staying single will only drag out your pain.

6. You’re Easily Triggered And Can’t Manage Your Big Emotions

Intimate relationships can easily trigger old wounds, and if you’re overwhelmed by those situations then relationships will be difficult to maintain. Healthy relationships require you to start the process of healing your childhood wounds and learn how to communicate your feelings, especially when they’re overwhelming. Blowing up at people, blaming them for your problems, and failing to clean up your disagreements will block you from lasting love. Lasting love requires a skill set that includes turning conflict into a deeper connection.

7. You Don’t Understand How Relationships Work

Maybe you’re good at superficial relationships, or you have a lot of friends but can’t seem to make any of your relationships work. It could feel like love is a mystery, and you don’t know the rules of how relationships work. You see other people partnering up and you wonder why you can’t seem to make a connection.

Lasting love requires vulnerability and communication skills. If you struggle to identify how you feel and communicate those feelings to another person, then intimate relationships will be difficult to maintain. It’s more than just good sex.

Giving up on love because you’ve been hurt is like eating a bad meal at one restaurant and deciding to never eat out again. Let us show you another way so you can share your life with the love of your life. Schedule a Breakthrough Call with us to discover your unique journey to lasting love.