The percentage of couples who have met through an app has grown exponentially over the last ten years — nothing else is even a close second. It’s true that dating apps can bring with them an onslaught of issues that can easily overwhelm you. Dating burnout is real, and avoiding it is the key to finding your One.

You can’t expect to find love without using the most effective tool for meeting other singles looking for love. So how do you avoid the problems that come with dating apps and not succumb to dating burnout?

The Most Common Signs Of Dating Burnout

You’re experiencing dating burnout when you feel cynical about your chances of finding love on a dating app. This hopelessness often stems from repeated negative experiences on dating apps, a series of short-term relationships that never pan out, or not finding anyone to connect with exacerbating your loneliness.

Swiping, text loops, and going on dates that don’t lead anywhere, leave you feeling exhausted, emotionally drained, and struggling to muster enthusiasm for finding new matches. This dating fatigue can cause you to believe that love just isn’t meant to be for you.

You can start to question your worthiness or suitability for love, which then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Giving up your search for love because of dating burnout is like giving up on a fitness plan because you never make it to the gym.

Whether it’s the gym or a dating app, placing the problem outside of you leaves you feeling powerless to change your circumstances.

Dating burnout takes its toll on you by affecting your attitude towards dating altogether. You may become overly critical of each profile, rejecting everyone you come across as unsuitable for you. When you’re feeling jaded, it’s easy to scrutinize every little detail preventing you from giving potentially good matches a fair chance.

Or you spend your time guarding your heart by telling yourself you’re not willing to settle and deselecting potential matches for superficial reasons. You’re looking for your beloved on an app — as if you’ll magically know a person through your phone’s screen.

Recognizing the signs of dating burnout is essential so you can avoid it altogether and maintain a healthy mindset on your search for long-lasting love.

10 Steps To Avoid Dating Burnout And Make Dating Apps Work For You

1. Turn Off Notifications And Take A Break When Necessary

One of the biggest factors for dating burnout is being a slave to dating app pings. Turn off all notifications from dating apps in order to manage your time on them effectively. Time is your most valuable resource and managing your time on the apps will bring you priceless peace of mind.

Now you can decide when to dive in and swipe or respond. Make sure you’re always in a good mood before even launching the app. If you’ve had a bad day at work, skip the apps altogether. If you’re in a neutral mood, put on some music and dance around your living room to raise your endorphin level before you begin.

Take a break from dating apps whenever you’re feeling down, or drained. This time will allow you to recharge your battery, gain clarity on your goals, and start dating again with a renewed sense of purpose. Now that you’re feeling more positive and energized, you can date with intention, making it easier to identify compatible matches and improving your chance of finding an ideal life partner.

2. Get Off The Hope-To-Disappointment Roller Coaster

Your mind is designed to fill in the blanks and this works against you when dating. Before you know who someone is, you’re already imagining being in a relationship with them. Leaping into the future quickly gets you caught in a cycle of emotional highs and lows.

Hope is the first thing to enter a potential relationship and the last thing to leave after a breakup. Each promising match ignites the spark of hope, causing you to invest emotionally in a stranger. When reality hits and another match doesn’t pan out, you feel the disappointment and loss. This emotional rollercoaster is the number one cause of dating burnout.

To find lasting love, you must embrace slow love and take your time as well as manage your expectations. There is no such thing as instant intimacy and when you rush to invest your heart you end up dating like a teenager. It’s easy to miss red flags and repeat your negative patterns.

3. Stop Taking Rejection Personally

Whether they don’t respond to your initial contact request, drop off your texting thread, or don’t reach out for a second date, taking every rejection personally drains your self-esteem and leads to dating burnout. Over time fear of further rejection can cause you to withdraw from dating altogether and give up on your search for love.

When someone doesn’t behave as you wish, it’s not a reflection of your worthiness, nor does it mean that you did something wrong. Another person’s behavior is completely unrelated to you. They behave as they do because of who they are, not in reaction to you. Taking their behavior personally drains your motivation and makes it impossible to keep your heart open.

In reality every rejection brings you closer to finding your person — someone who values and appreciates you and wants to be in a relationship with you. Adopt the attitude of, “Thank you, next…” and move on when it doesn’t work out. You are worth loving and worth being with someone who is as into you as you are them.

4. Stop Texting Conversations And Meet IRL

It’s tempting to invest your heart in a potential match before you’ve even met in person. The desire to share your life with someone can create meaning from nothing. The golden rule of using a dating app is this: Nothing is real until you meet in person.

Every feeling you have about a person you haven’t met in real life is in your imagination (this includes video chats). You’ll know they are who they say and look like their photo, however, you’ll never know if there’s chemistry between you until you meet in 3D.

If you want a real relationship stop texting conversations and use messaging for logistics only. Texting is a low-effort form of communication. It’s easy to ignore a text or send one when you want the dopamine hit of a positive response, but it doesn’t require any real effort or commitment. There’s no tone in text and there’s too much room for misinterpretation, even with the use of emojis.

5. Manage Your Emotional Energy

It’s easy to fall into the pit of dating burnout when you’re looking for someone else to feel better about yourself. If you’re feeling lonely or insecure and you jump on a dating app hoping for a self-esteem boost, you’re in trouble. Never look for validation on a dating app.

If you’re unhappy no one can make you happy. Managing your emotional energy means you have some level of emotional mastery. Come into the dating process as someone who is whole and complete and looking to share life with another whole and complete person.

6. Keep A First Meet Short

Meeting a stranger from the internet for the first time isn’t a date, it’s a first meet. No big romantic event necessary. A first meet is short, about sixty minutes (ninety minutes max). They are an opportunity to see if there’s a reason to have a second date. Meeting in real life allows you to see that the person matches their pictures, and lets you know they are who they say they are.

For safety, never go to a second location on a first meet. Most people will not have nefarious intentions, however, if they do, they’ll want to take you to a second location. Use common sense by meeting in a public place and leave them wanting more.

Have a full life and expect that they will have one also. If you two are a good match you’ll have the rest of your lives together — no need to rush. There’s plenty of time for romance once you know each other. Attraction isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, and you don’t know yet if you’re an ideal match.

7. Date With Non-Attachment

The easiest way to avoid dating burnout is to date with non-attachment. This doesn’t mean that you don’t express your feelings. Rather than indifference, non-attachment means you’re dating with low expectations at the start. You’re not letting your feelings alone drive your behavior. Resist the urge to imagine a future and stay present to just the facts.

Remaining unattached to a specific outcome while dating is difficult and requires practice. Rather than evaluating each person as a future life partner, stay present to your feelings and move forward slowly rather than rush in — especially if you have a long history of choosing bad partners. Remember that your happiness and self-worth aren’t dependent on this person you just met.

8. Stay Open And Curious

Curiosity is an attractive quality and when you put your focus on getting to know someone, you’re less self-conscious. It also helps you stay in the moment and appreciate the uniqueness of the person in front of you. Curiosity encourages you to ask thoughtful questions and actively listen to their response.

This mindset keeps you from being hyper-vigilant and looking for flaws or deal-breakers. A date is just you getting to know a stranger to discover about them. Plus every person you meet knows people you haven’t yet met. You never know how you’ll meet your beloved.

9. Use Dating As An Opportunity To Practice New Skills

Dating burnout is the result of making every date about finding your person. Shift your focus from finding your One, to practicing new communication and relationship skills. Don’t make assumptions about their behavior, instead make requests if you’d like them to make an adjustment.

If all you do is go along to get along through the dating process you’ll never find your person. Sharing your life with someone requires that you speak up and share your truth.  Every date is an opportunity to share your feelings and make a request for what you want or need. This allows you to evaluate if the other person can meet your needs.

Practice being authentic no matter how you feel about the person sitting across from you. Being authentic means you’re sharing your feeling state in the moment with the person you’re with. When you practice new skills while dating then no date is a waste and you’re not at risk of falling into dating burnout.

10. Stop Guarding Your Time

Setting a low bar for a first date allows you to meet a lot of different kinds of people. Some you’ll find attractive, and some you will not. Stop guarding your time as an excuse for guarding your heart.

Going on a date is not settling. The dating process is a selection process that takes time. Never settling in love means you’ll never commit to someone without feeling chemistry and attraction. Attraction is a requirement for a relationship, but not for a date.

Are you exhausted by dating burnout and looking for a new way to create the lasting love you desire? Join us for a complimentary Breakthrough Call. We’ve helped thousands of clients identify and transform their hidden blocks to love so they can bring in a beloved life partner. Isn’t it time you made finding your forever love a priority?