At times being alone can feel frustrating, lonely, and hopeless, particularly when you want to share your life with someone special. Loneliness can drive you to rush into exclusivity with the next person who gives you the tiniest bit of affection. If you truly want to share the rest of your life with the love of your life, stop settling for crumbs. Never settle for less than what you desire and deserve.

If you’re struggling to feel hopeful it may seem daunting to hold out and move slowly. Every nice person, or someone with good character won’t be your forever person. Dating burnout is brought through rushing in and starting over. Instead get off the dating rollercoaster. You’ll stop accepting crumbs when you believe you deserve what you desire.

You deserve more than just the bare minimum. You deserve love and respect that fill you up, not scraps that barely keep you going.

It’s easy to convince yourself that these tiny nuggets are enough. That it’s better to be partly seen or occasionally appreciated than to be lonely and alone. Just because the crumbs you receive feel like more than you’d get if you were alone doesn’t mean it’s enough, or you should be satisfied with what you get. You settle for scraps because part of you believes that’s all you deserve.

Never settle for less. It doesn’t have to be this way, and it’s not impossible for you to believe that more is available to you.

How Do You Know It’s Time To Stop Settling?

1. You’re Making Excuses For Their Unavailability

Whether it’s the pain of their recent divorce or their inability to trust because an ex cheated on them, you’re accepting those excuses and not asking for more. You believe that with enough love and patience they’ll come around and eventually give you all you desire.

2. You’re Waiting For Them To Give You What You Want

For whatever reason, they’ve let you know that they’re not ready right now, but they may change their minds in the future and you’re content to wait. You rationalize your choice because at least you’re not on a dating app, and you can lose yourself in a fantasy to dream about the future.

3. You Accept Friendship Instead Of Romance

Being stuck in the friend zone is something you accept and settle for. If you want more than friendship don’t put your desires on the backburner. Move on so you don’t fill the void. Nature abhors a vacuum, leave the empty space for the right person to fill.

4. It’s Easier Than Being Alone

Being alone is hard and having someone to go out to dinner or see a movie with makes it a little easier. At least you’re not always seated at a table for one and you have someone you can invite to parties with your family and friends.

5. You’re Focus Is On Their Healing, Not Yours

You imagine that giving them enough love will cause their heart to open. You keep giving to them while wishing and hoping the situation will change. Meanwhile, you’re ignoring your own needs to fulfill theirs.

No matter the reason, when you’re not getting what you really want you have to decide to move on. If you don’t value yourself, no one else is going to value you either. Going into sacrifice is not the way to get the love you desire and deserve.

Stop Settling For Crumbs In Your Relationships!

Ask yourself, “Do I have a pattern of settling for less than what I really want in my relationships?”

If you’re honest with yourself and answer yes, then it’s time to acknowledge that you’re not doing yourself any favors by investing any more of your time and heart with this person.

Anyone who allows you to continue to sacrifice your happiness for their comfort is not worth your time (plus, they are not a good friend either). It’s your job to put your needs first.

These situationships offer a certain amount of emotional intimacy that may feel good in the moment but aren’t satisfying over the long term. The connection to them stops you from pursuing other relationships, ones that may have real promise. They’re blocking you from meeting your ideal partner.

If someone is not making you a priority, then it’s time to reciprocate and do the same. Instead of waiting for them to make a move, or for their feelings/situation to change, take action and claim your value. Stop settling for crumbs and take a stand for yourself.

They don’t have to be a horrible person or toxic, they’re simply not the right match for you if their needs are met, but yours are not. Never settle for less than what you want and need.

5 Reasons You Should Never Settle In Love

1. You Deserve Someone Who Loves You

A relationship where one person wants more and the other doesn’t is imbalanced and therefore an unhealthy dynamic. You end up giving your power away out of fear that the other person will reject you. In this case, rejection is your protection. Anyone who isn’t willing to step up and claim you doesn’t deserve you.

Whatever the particulars of the situationship you’re stuck in a dead-end relationship. You deserve to be with someone who is as crazy about you as you are about them. It’s mutual attraction and affection that creates a natural balance in your relationship.

By accommodating their issues and making it easy for them, you’re twisting into a pretzel in an attempt to earn love. You can only hold this shape for so long before you become angry and resentful about the situation.

Sharing your life with someone doesn’t just magically happen, it requires commitment and chemistry. The needs of both people must be met the majority of the time for a healthy relationship.

If you find you’re stuck in a pattern of wanting what you can’t have, the first step to break this cycle is to discover more about yourself. Why do you believe you don’t deserve a fulfilling relationship? Why are you uncomfortable receiving love and preoccupied with giving love? What’s in your way of accepting someone that will shower you with affection and attention, and claim you?

If you stop settling for crumbs, what is your biggest fear? Never settle for less because you don’t believe you deserve more.

2. You Can’t Settle For A Lifetime

Companionship is nice when you’re feeling lonely, but it isn’t enough for a lifetime together. One of the reasons to commit to someone for a lifetime is so you have someone to weather the storms of life together.

If you never settle for less than what you deserve, then you’ll know that you can count on your partner to have your back. Whether you’re dealing with financial difficulties, family drama, or health concerns, knowing that your partner is going to be there for you is a great comfort. This is one of the main reasons to partner up.

There is a Swedish proverb about relationships that sums things up nicely:

“Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow.”

You’re looking to double your joy and half your sorrow. Never settle for less than someone who is just as excited about sharing a life with you as you are with them.

3. It Is Easy To Bail When Not Fully Committed

When settling for less, leaving is much easier when things don’t work out as planned. Committing through thick and thin requires that you have a strong connection at the beginning. The Romance Phase of a relationship doesn’t last forever, but that doesn’t mean that you should skip it altogether.

The Romance Phase puts gas in the relationship tank so you and your partner can get through the inevitable power struggle that every relationship goes through. If the Romance Phase is truncated, then it’s all too easy to bail on the relationship when challenging times arise.

Most relationships end because the couple cannot navigate through the Power Struggle Phase. On the other side of the power struggle is the promise of unconditional lasting love. But you have to be willing to move through your conflicts and accept each other as is.

If you’re settling, you’ll always wonder if there’s someone better out there. Someone you would be better suited for, who understands you and will also want to be intimate with you and shower you with affection for a lifetime. Never settle for less than the commitment you desire and deserve.

4. A Good Match Is Not A Unicorn

When you settle, you’re treating this person like they’re the only good person you’ll ever meet. They’re not some rare specimen you’ll lose forever if you move on.

It makes sense that you want to try to hold onto them. They make you feel good. You’re getting some of your needs met. Part of you is probably afraid that you won’t find another person who’s willing to spend time with you.

You end up giving your power and your self-worth to the hope that they’ll change their mind at some future date. This fear-based mindset is not serving you. You don’t need to find dozens of potential prospects or scour the earth for your soulmate. You only need to find one person who’s in it to win it with you. This isn’t as rare as you currently believe.

Stop settling for someone who isn’t available for anything more than a situationship or a friendship.

5. Your Person Is Blocked From Finding You

Because your heart is set on trying to make it work with this unavailable person, you’re unable to see any better matches that are available to you. Right now, you’re spending so much time and energy on them that there’s no room for your person to make an appearance in your life. You wouldn’t even see them if they were lingering in the periphery.

As long as your heart is tied to someone else – even with a small thread – your beloved will not be revealed to you.

You’re wearing blinders and putting all of your focus on hoping that this person will choose you when they become ready for another relationship. You’re safe for this person because you’re sticking around and not asking for more. Stop settling and making it easy for them to get their needs met.

Never settle for less while wishing for more. The right person won’t allow you to accept less than you deserve. It’s about expanding your heart and growing together to become the best versions of yourselves. Since this person isn’t asking anything of you, you aren’t asking anything of them. There’s no growth or movement in this relationship. There’s no future that ends well.

Stop Settling For Crumbs And Start Making An Effort To Meet Your Beloved

Stop settling and start dating! Go out with as many people as you can. Stop wasting one more moment of your precious time with someone who is clearly not interested in a relationship with you – and is willing for you to not have what you desire so they can have you available when they need to feel good about themselves.

If you ask this person, “Where is this relationship going?”, they’ll probably mumble something about not being ready right now. Waiting for them to become ready in the hope that they choose you is not a good strategy for lasting love. When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, believe them. Never settle for less than someone who wants to be with you and is willing to make the effort to make it happen.

Stop settling for crumbs and go out and create the relationship you deserve!

If you find yourself settling for less than you desire and don’t know how to break this pattern, then join us for a complimentary Breakthrough Call. We’ll get to the root of what’s blocking you and share a plan for creating the lasting love you desire. Never settle for less and you’ll get the love you want.