Are you tired of being lonely and alone this holiday season? Frustrated by the possibility of another New Year’s Eve without a partner to kiss at midnight? This time of year can be difficult especially if you’re struggling to find lasting love. You can succumb to the fleeting pleasure of cuffing season and hook up with the first available partner, or you can use this time to ensure you don’t spend another holiday season feeling lonely and alone.

Feeling lonely and alone is exacerbated by the holiday season. There’s a lot of pressure to find someone to spend all your holiday events with, culminating with the ultimate pressure-filled event – New Year’s Eve. It’s enough to drive you into the arms of any person that’s nearby. Unfortunately, this strategy results in high expectations and crushing disappointment.

You can focus on how time is running out for you, but giving in to negativity only makes you feel worse. You can avoid your family as much as possible, so you’re not reminded of your singlehood, but avoiding the issue won’t make it go away.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, running away from your loneliness, or jumping into the first relationship that presents itself, focus on yourself and become more emotionally resilient. Take a different path this cuffing season so you never spend another holiday season tired of being lonely and alone.

Change your focus – away from your anger and hurt about your exes, away from finding the right person (right now), and towards becoming the right person — always.

Accomplishing this feat requires that you stop looking for someone to complete you and start becoming the best person you can be. This challenges you to take loving actions with yourself and put your own needs and desires at the forefront of your relationship goals.

What Is Cuffing Season?

As the weather cools off and the holidays approach people want someone to curl up with in front of the fireplace. They want to have someone to bring to holiday parties, exchange gifts, and kiss on New Year’s Eve. It eases the loneliness of being alone during the Holidays. Unfortunately, most of these relationships are short-term and end before or soon after Valentine’s Day.

Cuffing season is not a conscious choice. It’s not like singles go looking for someone to spend the Holidays with, expecting to break up with them after Valentine’s Day. Instead, a combination of loneliness, family pressures, and societal expectations drive some people to jump into a relationship with the first pseudo-promising partner they find.

There are a lot of external pressures to encourage you to give in to cuffing season. The meet-cute at Friends-giving or a White Elephant party exchanging re-gifts, everyone wants their holiday season to be spiced up with a new romantic partner. Films like Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, and, of course, the annual Netflix and Hallmark Holiday marathons of rom-coms certainly set the stage for people to buy into the fantasy of their Wintertime whirlwind romance.

Most people don’t like to date, and those who are relationship-minded tend to rush in as soon as they feel all the butterflies and tingles without evaluating the other person’s capacity to meet their needs. Avoid the mistakes of cuffing season by taking a different approach this winter.

Tired Of Being Lonely And Alone During The Holidays? Change Your Expectations

The first step is to release the expectation of finding someone right now. Relax, enjoy the holidays with friends and family, and ignore all those questions about why you’re still single.

You can draw a boundary and simply state that dating is not your focus now. The winter is the perfect time to reflect and introspect. When you’re tired of feeling lonely and alone turn your attention inward. Now is the perfect time to develop a lifelong practice of self-love.

Rushing into an exclusive relationship so you have someone to bring to all your holiday events may ease your pain in the moment, but it’s just going to extend your singlehood even longer.

Don’t give in to the temptations of cuffing season. If you want lasting love, don’t settle for convenience because you’re tired of being lonely. Instead fill your heart with meaningful emotional connections with friends and family. This is a great time to spend meaningful time with those close to you, and also spend quality time with yourself.

Release Your Hurt And Heartache

Begin with a practice of forgiveness. Ultimately forgiving yourself and others allows you to come back into integrity with yourself. When you’re tired of being lonely and alone you can reset by practicing forgiveness for yourself, your ex, and any other people who have betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed you.

Forgiving your ex doesn’t mean that their behavior was okay, but it does release you from the hurt and anger so you’re no longer carrying it with you. There’s a well-known quote from the Buddha that says: “Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Stop poisoning yourself over your ex’s bad behavior.

Discover The Golden Nugget Of Learning™ so that you can release your ex and break the energetic connection you still have with them. When you remove the emotional charge from painful events you open your heart to create opportunities for new experiences, like long-lasting love with your person.

Practice the ritual of Ho’oponopono. This ancient Hawaiian forgiveness prayer is a balm on your aching heart and brings you back into integrity with yourself.

To practice Ho’oponopono, follow these steps:

1. Place your palms on the center of your chest – your heart center.
2. Close your eyes and picture the person you wish to forgive. (You may want to start with your ex, or a younger version of you.)
3. Say these 4 phrases aloud:
   • I’m sorry.
   • Please forgive me.
   • Thank you.
   • I love you.
4. Repeat for 5-10 minutes.
5. Practice daily at a minimum.

Release the weight of your anger and resentment and you’ll discover the innate joy inside of you.

Treat Yourself How You Wish To Be Treated

Stop waiting to magically feel better. If you’re tired of being lonely and alone, take new actions, and do things differently, then your feelings will change. You can make the mistakes of cuffing season because you’re looking for validation from someone else. Instead find that happiness within.

Start doing things you’ve been putting off. Book that trip to a special place (even if you go alone or with a friend). Buy yourself gifts to put under the tree (or to open each night of Hanukkah). Be kind, generous, and loving with yourself.

If you desire respectful love, then you must be loving yourself respectfully and with compassion. Embrace all the parts of you – the good, the bad, and even the ugly. Be willing to give yourself the same love and acceptance that you’re looking for in a mate.

Start taking yourself out on inner child dates to reconnect with the little child inside of you. These dates will help heal core wounds and allow you to create a new relationship with yourself where you are connected to your inner child and all the parts of you are in harmony.

Taking this time for yourself weekly means you are making yourself a priority. Committing to this ritual is the way to meet someone who’ll also make you a priority.

Tired of Being Lonely And Alone? Commit To Your Growth

If you’re tired of being lonely and alone, be mindful of isolating yourself from others. Find a spiritual community or group that supports your peace of mind and spiritual growth. Find a good therapist or coach who can help you work through your issues.

Seek out the company of positive people who support you. Spending time with other people on a similar journey brings the feeling of connection so you won’t feel alone. Select groups where uplifting stories are the focus rather than commiserating together.

You’ll always be a work in progress and there’s no end to your personal growth. It’s on the path to your highest and best self that you connect with your beloved. Plus, you’ll never depreciate.

Water seeks its own level in relationship. As you learn to love and accept yourself, you’ll meet someone who reflects that back to you and accepts you and loves you as is.

Create a list of actions to stretch you toward the person you wish to be. Pick actions that trigger some emotional fear (but no physical danger) and make a commitment to take at least one action a month that stretches you out of your comfort zone.

Practice Slow Love To Avoid The Mistakes Of Cuffing Season

Take your time through the dating process. Instead of rushing into exclusivity and physical intimacy allow dating to be a discovery all its own.

Start by discovering about yourself first. Do you behave differently based on your level of attraction? Are you too accommodating? Do you try to smooth out any bumps between you?

The right person for you will want to know how to win your heart. Practice non-attachment so you can evaluate the capacity of your date to hear you, treat you with respect, and honor your requests.

Lasting love is created over time, so imagine it’s like making chili, soup, or stew. You can’t rush it. You don’t want it to boil over, so let it simmer while you taste-test it over time.

Tired Of Being Lonely And Alone? Don’t Settle For Less Than You Desire Or Deserve

Say, “No!” to everything you don’t want and keep your eye on the prize! Don’t make excuses for other people’s behavior. You teach people how to treat you, so set a high standard and look for the person who is trying to win your heart and is in it to win it with you.

It’s easy to get along when the going’s good. Instead, please pay attention to how they treat you when there’s miscommunication or conflict. There will be conflict or disagreement with any person you share your life with. How you navigate through conflict will inform you if they are a match for you long-term.

If you’re truly tired of being lonely and alone start the New Year off with an in-depth plan for creating lasting love. Preorder our debut book: GETTING IT RIGHT THIS TIME: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love. Order the hardcover edition, email us the receipt to be enrolled in our virtual Book Club, three LIVE masterclasses in the New Year for no additional cost (this offer expires December 22, 2024). We’ll discuss the concepts presented in the book and answer all your questions.