Why are soulmate relationships so intense? It depends on what you mean by a soulmate relationship. If a soulmate is your other half that you’re destined to meet then you can waste a lot of time scouring the earth, looking for a one-of-a-kind spiritual connection.

If, as some people believe, a soulmate relationship shows up to wake you up and turn your world upside down but isn’t someone you’ll spend your life with, then you’re probably not looking forward to meeting them. Some people believe that soulmates don’t have to be romantic partners. They’re friends or even pets with whom you feel a special connection.

Maybe you’re just looking for someone to share your life with who gets you and loves you for who you are.

All of this leads to the question, what is the meaning of a soulmate? By definition, the word “mate” means “one of a pair.” Qualifying it with the word “soul” adds the element of a special connection that lasts over time. Soulmates choose each other and choose to stick with each other.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? It has to do with the nature of the special bond between you. You’re compatible with your soulmate and have a unique connection that you don’t normally find in your relationships. However, a soulmate relationship asks more of you than your other relationships.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? Because they’re not superficial or fleeting.

How Do You Know If You’ve Found Your Soulmate Relationship?

There’s more to the meaning of a soulmate than just an affinity for each other. Sure you have special connections with friends and animals that you cherish, but that’s not enough for a soulmate relationship.

In the beginning, a soulmate relationship is easy and comfortable. You feel like you’ve known each other forever, and your conversation comes naturally. As the relationship progresses, you’re mutually supportive of each other and feel grounded and secure. There’s a confidence you feel in yourself and in your connection that grows over time.

However, there’s another quality to a soulmate relationship that elevates it to more than just a special friend. You feel chemistry and attraction with this person and want more than just a friendship. You want romance and intimacy.

This attraction isn’t so intense that you become obsessed or all-consuming. These feelings indicate something else and should prompt you to slow down and pay closer attention to the dynamic between you.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? They’re the only relationships that contain all these qualities. That makes them rare and special and also contributes to their longevity. However, once you get past the initial Romance Stage, a soulmate relationship asks more of you.

Why Are Soulmate Relationships So Intense? They Require Authenticity

You can’t fake it with your soulmate. You won’t get away with going through the motions, or hiding how you really feel, or what you truly desire.

For a soulmate relationship to thrive, you need to show up authentically and speak your truth. You can’t hide your feelings, fake interest, check out, or brush things under the rug. Putting words to your feelings in a non-combative way can be challenging.

When you show up authentically, you’re confident that you’re being loved for who you really are – not who you or your partner think you ought to be. You’ll be loved on those days when you feel crappy and even those times when you behave badly. You’re loved for your imperfections, and you learn to embrace the cold reality that you’re human and will make mistakes.

There’s no such thing as a perfect person, but your soulmate will be perfect for you. Your soulmate is the one who will love you for who you are, warts and all.

But if you don’t show up authentically, your soulmate may not recognize you. If you’re twisting into a pretzel trying to earn love, then your true self can’t be seen. When you hide your feelings because you don’t want to rock the boat, you’re hiding your true self from your soulmate.

If you act like you don’t have any needs, or that your partner’s needs are more important than your own, then you’re setting the stage for your soulmate to pass you by or never recognize you in the first place.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? Because you can’t fake it and go through the motions. You’re challenged regularly to step up and speak your truth.

Why Are Soulmate Relationships So Intense? They Help You Heal Your Wounds

Your soulmate is a salve to the wounds in your heart. You can only do so much personal growth on your own. It’s only when you’re in relationship with your soulmate that you can do your deepest healing.

Your soulmate loves you for who you are, not who you are supposed to be or are striving to be. You never need to change for your soulmate; however, you may find yourself inspired to be the best version of yourself through the stability of a soulmate relationship.

Your inner critic is no match for the love of a soulmate. Just as it only takes one candle to banish the darkness from a room, the love from your soulmate lights the lantern of truth that you are loveable.

With your soulmate, you’ll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can’t lose love because the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. As you learn to count on yourself for unconditional love, you also learn to count on your soulmate no matter what and come what may.

Love is the most healing energy in the universe. Together you and your soulmate’s love will heal each other’s wounds and you’ll be bound together in a covenant of lasting love.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? They guide you to heal your deepest wounds and learn how to love and value yourself no matter what.

Why Are Soulmate Relationships So Intense? They Challenge You To Grow

You don’t get to skimp with a soulmate. You must be committed to your own growth and the growth of the relationship.

Your soulmate will challenge you to grow as an individual and challenge you to learn new relationship skills. Your old strategies and behaviors won’t cut it when you’re with your soulmate.

You won’t be able to blame your partner for your triggers and bad strategies. Instead, you’ll need to learn how to take responsibility for them and be okay with your flaws. You’ll need to up-level your communication skills and learn to turn a conflict into a deeper connection.

You’ll develop healthier boundaries. While your soulmate can feel like a part of you, your soulmate is a separate human being with different beliefs, behaviors, strategies, and emotions than you.

Most relationships never make it past the second stage of relationship, the inevitable Power Struggle Stage that follows the Romance Stage.

The myth of love by accident creates the ridiculous fantasy that you’ll never have problems when you’re with your soulmate.

Understanding that it’s not about IF there are problems; it’s HOW you navigate the stormy waters that are most important. You’ll reach the power struggle phase with anyone you choose to be in a relationship with, even your soulmate. However, with your soulmate you’ll grow your relationship skills because you know you’re better together than apart.

Growing your skills in your intimate relationship spills over to all your relationships, making you a better co-worker, boss, friend, sibling, son, daughter, etc.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? Because you’re willing to grow out of your comfort zone and address your differences.

Why Are Soulmate Relationships So Intense? They Require You To Embrace Conflict

So many relationships end because the couple drifts apart and falls out of love.

How does that happen?

Couples drift apart because they avoid bringing up the difficult conversations. They drift apart because the unspoken hurts and disappointments create a chasm between them.

You can’t avoid conflict with your soulmate. Instead, embrace conflict and use it as a doorway to a deeper connection.

Disagreements and conflicts are part of life – the sooner you become more comfortable with this fact the happier you’ll be. Conflict isn’t a sign you’re with the wrong person – instead it’s an opportunity to create a stronger connection. You’re more focused on how to move through your differences and reconnect.

Expecting discord allows you to address each event separately rather than thinking the sky is falling and it’s the end of the world every time you have a disagreement.

Most couples sweep things under the rug and let small disputes add up until there’s too much to handle all at once like an erupting volcano. Anticipating that there will be challenges to navigate through puts you on the offensive to address any issues as they arise.

Why are soulmate relationships so intense? Because they require you to work through your differences and create a connection that can’t be broken.

Why Are Soulmate Relationships So Intense? They Ask You To Choose Love Again And Again

During the romance phase, your anxieties, frustrations, and neuroses don’t affect you as strongly. You’re in an induced chemical high from the feel-good hormones of bonding with your partner.

Once those chemicals wear off, your anxieties and insecurities return, even those habitual critical thoughts in your head. Your feelings aren’t permanent; they’re constantly shifting and changing. They ebb and flow and can change from moment to moment.

You won’t wake up every morning feeling love for the person sleeping beside you. You’ll get caught up in your stuff, unconsciously projecting your frustrations and anxieties onto your partner, even when it’s your soulmate.

This is why it is most important to choose to love your soulmate every day.

There’s no special person who will magically take your problems away from you. Instead, choose love. Choose to be loving with yourself. Choose to be kind with your partner even when you’re having a conflict.

Choosing to love the frustrating habits of your soulmate opens you to love an imperfect person. The only way to get rid of those behaviors is to get rid of your soulmate too.

To be open to lasting love you have to let someone’s best be good enough. Choosing to love those things that drive you coo-coo means you’re accepting your soulmate warts and all – just like you wish to be loved.

When you choose love, you make the most powerful choice a person can make. You choose forgiveness, compassion, and empathy for all that makes up your soulmate. There will be fights with your soulmate. You won’t like every single thing about them, but you’ll love the most important of things. They will sometimes annoy you. Choose to love them anyway, and you’ll have a reliable person to share life’s ups and downs.

Your Soulmate Relationship Won’t Just Magically Show-up When You Least Expect It

Your soulmate relationship will feel magical at times, however magic is not a plan. You’ll have to take action toward your goal just like anything else that’s important in your life.

Don’t just rely on fate or continue to use the dating strategies that haven’t worked for you so far. If you want a special connection with your person that has the potential to last a lifetime, take a new approach to love.

It’s important to examine your beliefs and strategies in your intimate relationships, slow down the dating process so you don’t repeat past mistakes, and get clear on the dynamic you desire with your soulmate.

Lasting love doesn’t just happen when you least expect it. If you’re looking for how to create your plan for love, preorder our debut book: GETTING IT RIGHT THIS TIME: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love. Order the hardcover edition, email us the receipt, and you’ll be enrolled in our virtual book club FOR NO ADDITIONAL COST, plus three LIVE masterclasses in the New Year. We’ll discuss the concepts presented in the book and answer all your questions.