Have you ever met someone you instantly connected with and thought they were your soulmate — only to discover they didn’t feel the same way? Do you wonder why is love so hard to find hoping they’ll reconsider and change their mind? Getting over unrequited love can be one of the most difficult steps on your journey to lasting love.

It may have appeared that the chemistry between you was strong, and the conversation felt easy and natural. Perhaps you felt as if you’d known each other forever. And then they didn’t return your affection… ouch!

Getting over unrequited love is difficult when the initial connection feels powerful. Part of you knows you need to move on, but you just can’t seem to let it go. Instead of cursing the stars or wallowing in self-pity, discover how to get over unrequited love and finally create the lasting love you desire and deserve.

Getting Over Unrequited Love

You can waste a lot of time going over every interaction in your mind wondering, “What did I do wrong?” Unfortunately you won’t find the answers you’re looking for. Your friends urge you to move on but other people you date just don’t match up to the excitement of the one that got away.

Unrequited love leaves you feeling lonely, unlovable, and wondering if you’ll ever find the kind of love you’re looking for. After all, if the person you thought was your soulmate doesn’t feel the same way then how could you ever find love?

You keep asking yourself, “Why is love so hard to find?” You may have a false belief that getting over unrequited love is impossible, that you’ll never feel that strong a connection with someone else.

Don’t get caught in this trap. It’s not your fault they didn’t feel the same way. Understanding why getting over unrequited love is difficult helps you To begin the healing process, it helps to know that getting over unrequited love is difficult and very common. You’re in good company, some of the best people get stuck pining for the one that got away.

You Aren’t Doomed To Be Alone

Right now, you may doubt that you can overcome your heartbreak and find someone better suited for you. However, when you heal from unrequited love you can become more capable of creating a healthy, lasting, soul-satisfying love with someone else who returns your affection.

You don’t have to scour the earth to find your one soulmate and you aren’t doomed to be alone. Soulmates aren’t destined or fated, they’re actually cultivated and chosen. Love is infinite, unconditional, and for everyone. There’s no higher power deciding who gets love and who doesn’t because love doesn’t discriminate — it’s for everyone.

You can use this experience to discover how to get over unrequited love and become a better version of yourself. Understanding why you’re stuck on someone who doesn’t love you back is essential to getting over unrequited love.

Why Getting Over Unrequited Love Is Difficult

Step one in getting over unrequited love is to realize that it’s like an addiction.

Seeing the object of your affection as an addiction can allow you to see why you can’t let them go. Imagine those feelings you felt when you first met them: The excitement, the butterflies in your stomach, the intense connection are like taking heroin or cocaine for the first time.

You experience a high you’ve never felt before. And then the source of that exhilaration is taken away from you. Your mind searches for the source of those feelings and attaches to this person, identifying them as the only source that can bring you those feel-good sensations.

An obsession with unrequited love becomes a fantasy that’s much more intoxicating than the reality of sharing your life with another person. The longing, obsession, and stubborn refusal to let it go all add up to an addiction cycle that you must break — just like an addict with the need for a fix.

How to get over unrequited love? Approach your longing like an addiction that needs an intervention.

Emotional Addiction Keeps You Trapped

First, you experience the denial of the rejection. How could they not love you the way you love them? It doesn’t make sense that you would feel this way towards someone who doesn’t also feel the same way toward you.

Maybe you rationalize their rejection, believing that they’re too afraid to experience the kind of love you have for them. Whatever you do the craving for the one you can’t have keeps gets stronger.

Emotional addiction is a state where there is a dependency on specific emotions. You’re actually addicted to the chemicals produced by your brain when particular emotions are triggered, also called “hit emotions.”

Your subconscious mind highlights whatever is familiar to you. The mind does this as part of its job to keep you alive. Because you’re alive today, it looks to bring you more similar circumstances including the dynamic that you identify as love.

So if you pined for a parent’s love or attention as a child, seeking what you can’t have as an adult will create an emotional addiction cycle.

Getting over unrequited love requires you to look in the mirror for the source of the connection as well as the pain.

It’s About You, Not The One That Got Away

The real reason why you’re obsessed with their rejection isn’t actually about them. It comes from a wound created in your childhood from your family of origin.

As a baby, you’re dependent on your parent’s love for your survival. More than just getting your physical needs met, you also have emotional needs.

When you struggle getting over unrequited love there’s a discrepancy between how you desired to feel loved by your parent/s and the way they expressed and showed their love for you. This discrepancy creates a belief inside of you that love is conditional in some way.

Why is love so hard to find? Due to childhood wounding, you developed specific limiting beliefs, mental and emotional patterns, and behavioral strategies for giving and receiving love. This becomes part of your subconscious program for romantic relationships and drives much of your behavior as an adult when you’re looking for a life partner. Your patterns and behaviors in intimate relationships are a result of Your Love Imprint^®.

Your internal GPS for intimate relationships most likely includes the belief that the love you want is unavailable to you. Maybe one of your parents was emotionally distant or physically not present. However it developed in your family of origin, your fixation with unrequited love has more to do with your childhood wounds and limiting beliefs about love than it does with the particular person you’re hung up on.

Your intense desire for them might be from the very fact that they’re unavailable to you.

To unravel the emotional addiction it’s imperative to heal your childhood wounds and you’ll open the door to getting over unrequited love.

Your Subconscious Mind Is Attracted To What Is Familiar

Discovering how to get over unrequited love requires you to realize that you’re attracted to a familiar dynamic of love that triggers a subconscious response.

Your subconscious mind is tasked with keeping you alive. It does this by keeping your body in a narrow state of homeostasis. Your blood pressure, your heart rate, and your body’s temperature have to stay within a narrow range in order for you to stay alive.

You also have a subconscious behavioral homeostasis. What is known to you is familiar and therefore safe. What is unknown to you is a possible threat to your survival. This is why people are generally resistant to change.

Your behavioral patterns in intimate relationships are known and therefore familiar. Another way to think about it is that these behaviors are habits, and they’re running on autopilot. Your beliefs about love, mental/emotional patterns, and behavioral strategies are keeping you stuck, believing a false narrative that this is the person you’re destined to be with.

How to get over unrequited love and finally break this pattern? It will require you to make some changes to your GPS for love. These changes will open you up to romantic love in a whole new way and make you more resilient to rejection and heartbreak.

Here Is How Get Over Unrequited Love:

1. Allow Yourself To Truly Mourn The Loss

While you have been experiencing feelings of loss, you haven’t allowed yourself to truly mourn this experience. Mourning requires a period of grief. Set aside time to feel all of your feelings and to move through them.

You’ve stuck on a longing that cannot be fulfilled. Have you allowed yourself to feel all of the anger and hurt, the disappointment, the sadness, or whatever else you’ve been resistant to feeling?

It’s important to move through the icky feelings so you do not stunt your emotional growth. Simply take time to feel all of your feelings and then let them go, not taking any actions other than just feeling whatever comes up.

Getting over unrequited love can happen when you allow yourself to feel all of your feelings and then let them go.

2. Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness allows you to break this unhealthy pattern that’s no longer serving you. Forgive yourself for becoming attached to an unattainable partner.

When your heart breaks it ultimately breaks open to hold more love. Allow compassion and forgiveness to flood your heart and begin the process of healing.

Every human has flaws; it’s part of the human condition. Being human means that you’re imperfect, and when you have compassion for yourself your heart fills with self-love.

Getting over unrequited love happens when you forgive yourself for getting stuck on the one that got away. Then you can release yourself from the bondage of anger and resentment.

3. Find The Golden Nugget™ Of Learning

All of your desires in relationship have the potential to teach you more about yourself and your ability to love. Discovering what they showed up to teach you is the final step in getting over unrequited love.

What do you need to learn about yourself to grow and become better at intimate relationships? What was their role in teaching you? Why did it have to be this person and not someone else to teach you this?

Answering these questions will give you the Golden Nugget of Learning. This is why this person showed up in your life – to teach you about yourself so that you could move past them and into a fulfilling and lasting love relationship.

When you discover the Golden Nugget for yourself, write a letter to them (that you’ll never send) expressing your gratitude for why they showed up in your life and what you learned from this experience. After a few days, revisit the letter and then burn it, releasing it for the highest good of all.

While it can feel difficult getting over unrequited love, doing so frees you so that you can find the love that you desire and deserve. In a true soulmate relationship, both partners choose each other equally. Soulmate love is not one-sided.

Are you struggling getting over unrequited love? Do you keep asking yourself “Why is love so hard to find?” Discovering the root of the issue gives you the clarity and the path to transform your negative patterns in love once and for all. Join us for a Soulmate Strategy Session and discover what’s been keeping you stuck in a pattern of unfulfilling relationships and how you can break them.